Write in some of your favorite Mark Twain quotes for others to see. I've started it off.
For more Mark Twain quotes, please visit this site!
First, God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then He created school boards. (Caron)
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. (Caron)
Love your enemy- it will scare the hell out of them. (Blackwell)
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. (Haley)
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. (Haley)
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. (Haley)
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.(Andrew)£0£--☺☻--
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. (Neil MacIntosh)
Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat. (Neil MacIntosh)
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. (Shelby K.)
Be careful reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Shelby K.)
Clothes make the man. Naked people have no influence on society. (Shelby K.)
I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can....but I won't. ( Cory T.)
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please. ( Cory T.)
The difference between a the best word and the right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. (Danny Sale)
Be good and you will be lonesome (Hayden T.)
I have been been through some terrible things in my life, some of which have actually happened (Hayden T.)
An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before. (Caroline Lassiter)
One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself. (Logan)
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining. But, wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Caroline R.)
It is better to keep your mouth closed, and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. (Caroline R.)
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. (Caroline R.)
I don't give a d#mn for a man that can only spell a word one way.(Neil)
24. “I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one” (Caroline V.)
25 A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Matt
26. You should never do anything wicked and lay it on your brother, when it's just as convenient to lay it on some other boy. (Wiliam)
27. Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. (William)
28. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. (Sarah)
29. Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. (Sarah)
30. The gentleman whose signature to the Declaration of Independence it is comfort to come back to and read, after you have got the blind-staggers trying to spell out the others. (Meghan)
31. Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. (Laura)
32. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. (Laura)
33. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.(Laura)
34. It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.(Laura)
35. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. (Laura)
36. The best way to cheer yourself, is to cheer someone else up. (Laura)
37. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. (EmilyBarden)
38. A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. (EmilyBarden)
39. A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. (Emily Barden)
40. Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. (EmilyBarden) 41. Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. (EmilyBarden)
42. I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. (EmilyBarden) 43. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt (Kevin L)
44. "Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth, the valuable personages, the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat." (Elizabeth)
45. Success:Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.(Elizabeth)
46. Age: Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. (Elizabeth)
47. Sacred cows make the best hamburger. (Emily Brown)
48.When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. (Emily Brown)
49.Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use. (Emily Brown) 50. Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth. (Emily Brown) 51. No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. (Lizzie)
52. A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs. (Lizzie)
53. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. (Lizzie)
54. What a fine thing it is to have an intellect, and room enough in the seat of your breeches to hold it. (Lizzie)
55. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.(alex j)
56. A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. (alex j)
57. A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. (alex j)
58. A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. (alex j)
59. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. (alex j)
60. Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. (alex j)
61. When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. (Tony)
62. What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. (Tony)
63. Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. (Tony)
64. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence (Tony)
65. There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. (Tony)
66. The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven (Tony)
67. October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. (Shelby K)
68. In the manner of diet--I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn't agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it. (Danny Sale)
69. There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. (Danny Sale)
70. The English are mentioned in the Bible. Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth. (Danny Sale)
71. To any foreigner, English is exceedingly difficult. Even the angels speak it with an accent. (Danny Sale)
72. Senator: a person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time. (Danny Sale)
73. As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep and never to refrain when awake. (Danny Sale)
74. They examine passports on the Italian frontier for fear an honest man may slip in. (Danny Sale)
75. I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna. (Danny Sale)
76. When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. (Danny Sale)
77. The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. (Danny Sale)
78. The first gospel of all monarchies should be Rebellion; the second should be Rebellion; and the third and all gospels, and the only gospel of any monarchy, should be Rebellion--against Church and State. (Danny Sale)
79. Don't explain your author, read him right and he explains himself. (Danny Sale)
80. It is better to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain. (Danny Sale)
81. ...being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was
dead all the time. (Danny Sale)
82. It is easier for a needle to go through a camel's eye than for a rich woman to sprain her ancle & keep it out of the papers. (Danny Sale)
83. If all men were rich, all men would be poor. (Danny Sale)
84. A river without islands is like a woman without hair. She may be good and pure, but one doesn't fall in love with her very often. (Danny Sale)
85. It is good to obey all the rules when you're young, so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old. (Danny Sale)
86. You can straighten a worm, but the crook is in him and only waiting. (Danny Sale)
87. The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example. (Danny Sale)
88. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. (Danny Sale)
89. What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. (Danny Sale)
90. Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others- his last breath. (Danny Sale)
91. The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it. (Danny Sale)
92. The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it. (Danny Sale)
93. No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave. (Danny Sale)
94. We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain. (Danny Sale)
95. "Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything." (Addison Davis)
96. "Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination." (Addison Davis)
97. Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. (Laura)
98. It is easier to stay out than get out. (Laura)
99. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you fell that you, too, can become great. (Laura)
100. Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. (Laura)
101. By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's I mean. (Laura)
102. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. (Laura)
103. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Sarah)
104. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. (Sarah)
105. It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them. (Sarah)
106. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. (Janna)
107. I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't. (Janna)
108. I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. (Janna)
109. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Janna)
110. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. (Janna)
111. Be great and you will be lonesome. (Elisabeth)
112 All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. (Elisbeth) 113. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. (Elisbeth) 114. Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. (Elisabeth)
115. When angry count four; when very angry, swear. (Taylor)
116. When we do not know a person--and also when we do--we have to judge his size by the size and nature of his achievements, as compared with the achievements of others in his special line of business--there is no other way. (Taylor)
117. Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. (Taylor)
118. There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled. (Taylor)
119. To spell correctly is a talent, not an acquirement. There is some dignity about an acquirement, because it is a product of your own labor. It is wages earned, whereas to be able to do a thing merely by the grace of God and not by your own effort transfers the distinction to our heavenly home--where possibly it is a matter of pride and satisfaction but it leaves you naked and bankrupt. (Taylor)
120. It is always the way; words will answer as long as it is only a person's neighbor who is in trouble, but when that person gets into trouble himself, it is time that the King rise up and do something. (Taylor)
121. ...the citizen who thinks he sees that the commonwealth's political clothes are worn out, and yet holds his peace and does not agitate for a new suit, is disloyal; he is a traitor. (Taylor)
122. How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps! (Taylor)
123. A man may have no bad habits and have worse. (Taylor)
124. Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. (Taylor)
125. You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. (Taylor)
126. We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. (Taylor)
127. There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it. (Taylor)
128. Forty years ago I was not so good-looking. A looking glass then lasted me three months. Now I can wear it out in two days. (Taylor)
129. He had only one vanity, he thought he could give advice better than any other person. (Taylor)
130.For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment (Taylor)
131. I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering and that was the fact that it is past--can't be restored. (Taylor)
132. The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it... (Taylor)
.Famous Mark Twain quotes:
Write in some of your favorite Mark Twain quotes for others to see. I've started it off.
For more Mark Twain quotes, please visit this site!
- First, God created idiots. That was just for practice. Then He created school boards. (Caron)
- Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. (Caron)
- Love your enemy- it will scare the hell out of them. (Blackwell)
- Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. (Haley)
- Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. (Haley)
- The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. (Haley)
- I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.(Andrew)£0£--☺☻--
- Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. (Neil MacIntosh)
- Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... didn't miss the boat. (Neil MacIntosh)
- Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. (Shelby K.)
- Be careful reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Shelby K.)
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have no influence on society. (Shelby K.)
- I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can....but I won't. ( Cory T.)
- Get your facts first, then you can distort them as much as you please. ( Cory T.)
- The difference between a the best word and the right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. (Danny Sale)
- Be good and you will be lonesome ( Hayden T.)
- I have been been through some terrible things in my life, some of which have actually happened (Hayden T.)
- An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before. (Caroline Lassiter)
- One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself. (Logan)
- A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining. But, wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Caroline R.)
- It is better to keep your mouth closed, and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. (Caroline R.)
- The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. (Caroline R.)
- I don't give a d#mn for a man that can only spell a word one way. (Neil)
24. “I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one” (Caroline V.)25 A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Matt
26. You should never do anything wicked and lay it on your brother, when it's just as convenient to lay it on some other boy. (Wiliam)
27. Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any. (William)
28. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. (Sarah)
29. Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. (Sarah)
30. The gentleman whose signature to the Declaration of Independence it is comfort to come back to and read, after you have got the blind-staggers trying to spell out the others. (Meghan)
31. Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. (Laura)
32. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. (Laura)
33. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.(Laura)
34. It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.(Laura)
35. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. (Laura)
36. The best way to cheer yourself, is to cheer someone else up. (Laura)
37. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. (EmilyBarden)
38. A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. (EmilyBarden)
39. A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. (Emily Barden)
40. Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. (EmilyBarden)
41. Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. (EmilyBarden)
42. I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. (EmilyBarden)
43. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt (Kevin L)
44. "Who are the oppressed? The many: the nations of the earth, the valuable personages, the workers; they that make the bread that the soft-handed and idle eat." (Elizabeth)
45. Success:Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.(Elizabeth)
46. Age: Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. (Elizabeth)
47. Sacred cows make the best hamburger. (Emily Brown)
48.When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. (Emily Brown)
49.Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use. (Emily Brown)
50. Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth. (Emily Brown)
51. No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. (Lizzie)
52. A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs. (Lizzie)
53. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. (Lizzie)
54. What a fine thing it is to have an intellect, and room enough in the seat of your breeches to hold it. (Lizzie)
55. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.(alex j)
56. A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. (alex j)
57. A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. (alex j)
58. A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. (alex j)
59. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. (alex j)
60. Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. (alex j)
61. When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. (Tony)
62. What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself. (Tony)
63. Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it. (Tony)
64. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence (Tony)
65. There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. (Tony)
66. The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven (Tony)
67. October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. (Shelby K)
68. In the manner of diet--I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn't agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it. (Danny Sale)
69. There are many humorous things in the world: among them the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages. (Danny Sale)
70. The English are mentioned in the Bible. Blessed are the meek; for they shall inherit the earth. (Danny Sale)
71. To any foreigner, English is exceedingly difficult. Even the angels speak it with an accent. (Danny Sale)
72. Senator: a person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time. (Danny Sale)
73. As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep and never to refrain when awake. (Danny Sale)
74. They examine passports on the Italian frontier for fear an honest man may slip in. (Danny Sale)
75. I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna. (Danny Sale)
76. When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. (Danny Sale)
77. The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them. (Danny Sale)
78. The first gospel of all monarchies should be Rebellion; the second should be Rebellion; and the third and all gospels, and the only gospel of any monarchy, should be Rebellion--against Church and State. (Danny Sale)
79. Don't explain your author, read him right and he explains himself. (Danny Sale)
80. It is better to read the weather forecast before we pray for rain. (Danny Sale)
81. ...being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was
dead all the time. (Danny Sale)
82. It is easier for a needle to go through a camel's eye than for a rich woman to sprain her ancle & keep it out of the papers. (Danny Sale)
83. If all men were rich, all men would be poor. (Danny Sale)
84. A river without islands is like a woman without hair. She may be good and pure, but one doesn't fall in love with her very often. (Danny Sale)
85. It is good to obey all the rules when you're young, so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old. (Danny Sale)
86. You can straighten a worm, but the crook is in him and only waiting. (Danny Sale)
87. The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example. (Danny Sale)
88. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. (Danny Sale)
89. What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. (Danny Sale)
90. Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others- his last breath. (Danny Sale)
91. The equator was wisely put where it is, because if it had been run through Europe all the kings would have tried to grab it. (Danny Sale)
92. The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it. (Danny Sale)
93. No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave. (Danny Sale)
94. We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain. (Danny Sale)
95. "Always tell the truth; then you don't have to remember anything." (Addison Davis)
96. "Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination." (Addison Davis)
97. Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. (Laura)
98. It is easier to stay out than get out. (Laura)
99. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great make you fell that you, too, can become great. (Laura)
100. Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. (Laura)
101. By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's I mean. (Laura)
102. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. (Laura)
103. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. (Sarah)
104. I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know. (Sarah)
105. It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them. (Sarah)
106. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. (Janna)
107. I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't. (Janna)
108. I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. (Janna)
109. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Janna)
110. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. (Janna)
111. Be great and you will be lonesome. (Elisabeth)
112 All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. (Elisbeth)
113. A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. (Elisbeth)
114. Work is a necessary evil to be avoided. (Elisabeth)
115. When angry count four; when very angry, swear. (Taylor)
116. When we do not know a person--and also when we do--we have to judge his size by the size and nature of his achievements, as compared with the achievements of others in his special line of business--there is no other way. (Taylor)
117. Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself. (Taylor)
118. There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled. (Taylor)
119. To spell correctly is a talent, not an acquirement. There is some dignity about an acquirement, because it is a product of your own labor. It is wages earned, whereas to be able to do a thing merely by the grace of God and not by your own effort transfers the distinction to our heavenly home--where possibly it is a matter of pride and satisfaction but it leaves you naked and bankrupt. (Taylor)
120. It is always the way; words will answer as long as it is only a person's neighbor who is in trouble, but when that person gets into trouble himself, it is time that the King rise up and do something. (Taylor)
121. ...the citizen who thinks he sees that the commonwealth's political clothes are worn out, and yet holds his peace and does not agitate for a new suit, is disloyal; he is a traitor. (Taylor)
122. How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps! (Taylor)
123. A man may have no bad habits and have worse. (Taylor)
124. Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. (Taylor)
125. You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you. (Taylor)
126. We do not deal much in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. (Taylor)
127. There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it. (Taylor)
128. Forty years ago I was not so good-looking. A looking glass then lasted me three months. Now I can wear it out in two days. (Taylor)
129. He had only one vanity, he thought he could give advice better than any other person. (Taylor)
130.For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment (Taylor)
131. I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering and that was the fact that it is past--can't be restored. (Taylor)
132. The gods offer no rewards for intellect. There was never one yet that showed any interest in it... (Taylor)